Being a tolerable communicator and an effective communicator is the difference between being good and great at what you do. If your design skills are up to par with your competition’s, then strong communication skills can put you ahead. Strengthening your communication skills is worth the time and effort, and you may be surprised by how much you benefit from more polished and professional interaction.
Egos The Real Deal!!!
The welfare state is not really about the welfare of the masses. It is about the egos of the elites.
-Thomas Sowell
At the most fundamental psychological level, there are, essentially, three kinds of people: Those that see the glass as half-empty, those that view the glass as half full and those that will argue for hours as to whether it’s a glass at all!
Now ask yourself, which category do you fall into? Do you inflate and encourage – or are you more like a human vortex, a steady drain on emotional resources? Are you a courage-builder or a spirit-sucker? Do your colleagues view you as a
burst of upbeat energy – or as a vitality-vampire, sucking the positive lifeblood out of your co-workers? Are you an ego-booster or an ego-buster?
When you truly begin to embrace the fact that your words and actions contribute to the overall energy and happiness in your life and the lives of your co-workers, you’ll make a radical decision to positively reframe your outlook, speech and
actions.
Now, let’s look at the seven top ego-busting behaviors – How we can help those who use these destructive communication patterns, and how we can change these behaviors in our own speech.
1. Overwhelmingly Negative Speech – In order for an organization to flourish, and not flounder or experience flat growth, they need to pump up their positive speech. Quite often, these are people who suffer from the
ball-and-chain syndrome – where every task (no matter how small) – is a crushing chore, an insurmountable burden.
You: If most of your day-to-day dialogue is negative, pessimistic, sarcastic, hurtful, harmful, blame-ridden, guilt-inducing and filled “I can’ts augmented with extra doses of “poor-poor-pitiful-me,” it may be time for you to make a healthy change to the positive. Try to strike a better balance by choosing positive, optimistic, reassuring,
encouraging, morale-building, forward-thinking, “I can” words.
Others: If you hear others engaged in negative dialogue, first acknowledge them by saying, “Gee, it sounds like you are really unhappy,” or “I can tell by what you are saying that you are frustrated.” Then ask them, “Share with me something that is going right.” You can also offer a comment such as, “Do you realize that when you complain/are negative about something that it really has a negative impact on my morale – and what I need from you is to hear you offer up some of the positive things that are going on around here.”
2. “I Didn’t Do It!” – Truth be told, no one really cares about what you’re unwilling to do or can’t do. They’re only interested in finding out what you have done, are willing to do or can do. Experts agree that if every person involved in a task took a mere 10 percent responsibility in a project’s outcome (negative or positive), the work responsibility could be evenly distributed and shared. Folks that play the “blame game” lose on all accounts: They fail to function as a team player and lose their co-workers’ respect. Playing the “blame game” is a career-killing move.
You: If you are blaming another, and the task truly wasn’t your responsibility, then give the person who needs the task completed very specific and helpful information. Without this, you will seem lazy, uncooperative and a non-team player. If you continue playing the “blame game,” no one will approach you with any new tasks. Task assigning = trust.
Others: If someone is blaming another, you can ask them: “What can you do and what are you willing to do in this situation?” In these situations, blaming-throwing can go on indefinitely, so oftentimes, eliciting some information is better than none.
3. Grapevine Gossipers – If you think that you’ll have nothing to talk about if you omitted all of the gossip in your everyday speech – You need to reassess your communications! Gossip is damaging, especially in a work environment. Just how far will employers go to stop gossip? Two years ago, municipal workers in Cascavel, Brazil, were banned from gossiping during working hours under a new law. Any public employee caught spreading rumors or gossip about their colleague ran the risk of being fired. The city claimed that civil servants have the right to work in a professional environment and said the new law promotes integrity. In 2001, a nationwide study conducted by a UK group, Industrial Society, claimed that, on average, American men gossip more than women. The idea that gossip is largely a women’s thing is deeply ingrained; saying that men gossip more than women is like saying that men have more shoes than women! But how do you define gossip? The authors of the study described true gossip as meeting five essential criteria:
- The person being talking about is not present;
- The people having the conversation have an established relationship with the subject;
- The information has no direct impact on the lives of the people conducting the conversation;
- The conversation is generally negative in tone, and
- The conversation is morality-based in its implications.
The study concedes, however, that men and women gossip quite differently. While women gossip primarily to bond with one another, and men do it to bolster their self-esteem.
You: If you’re the department’s “gossip grapevine,” try to cut your gossip by 10 percent. You’ll soon find that it’s easy to cut back on the time you spend “sharing news & views” about co-workers and managers. You want to feel included and embraced in your group, but what you’re really doing is serving as the “enabler” of negative relationships.
Others: When someone tries to share gossip with you, ask them, “Why are you sharing this information with me? I would prefer not to talk about something without him/her being here.” Defend others in their absence, just as you’d wish for others to defend you. And remember, if a person gossips with you, they’ll gossip about you!
4. “I’m Okay, But You’re Not Okay” – Perhaps the most difficult behavioral pattern to deal with, passive-aggressive behavior plays an insidious role in interpersonal communications. This “I’m okay, but you’re not okay” (but I’m not going to verbalize this, I’ll just subtly undermine you) conduct can prove frustrating.
You: If you’re the culprit in passive-aggressive conduct, you need to more carefully identify your needs. Don’t expect positive responses from your negative innuendos and sarcastic “off-the-cuff” comments. Try to more articulately, concisely and clearly state your needs.
Others: Those that fall into passive-aggressive behavior tend to take negative jabs in their speech and then follow it up with comments like: “Gosh, I was just joking,” or, “Lighten up!” and “Can’t you take a joke?” remarks. In order to deal with this type of conduct, you can ask the person to repeat any necessary information, deadlines, agreements, etc., and (face-to-face) agree to specified terms. Whatever you do, don’t be sarcastic or attempt to “even the playing field” with similar negative comments, this will only serve to further “fuel the fire” in passive-aggressive individuals.
Controllers & Micro-Managers – This is, at its primal level, a form of controlling behavior.
You: If you find yourself micro-managing your employees and coworkers, your core issue is trust. You don’t trust people. As a result, people will not trust you. Let people set their own deadlines – typically, they’ll set shorter deadlines than you would and, as a result, they’ll have a better attitude about their project and their own abilities.
Others: When you find yourself working for a micro-manager, you need to start a positive communication campaign. Push a constant stream of communication out to your manager. Use phrases like: “This is where I am on this project, and unless I hear from you otherwise, I’ll move forward to [Step B].” Send out a copious flow of updates and information, allowing the person to (slowly but surely) develop trust in your working relationship.
5. “Poor Me” Victim Mentality – This very damaging ego-busting behavior can spell “disaster” for a budding career.
You: If you indulge yourself in “victim mentality,” realize that you can badly (sometimes irretrievably) damage your career. Using the “poor me” excuse in professional environs can make you seem ill equipped in handling undemanding situations, thereby allowing others to deem you completely incapable of managing more stressful and challenging ones. Realize that it serves no positive purpose to whine and moan, “The other department got all of the new computers… We never get any of the good stuff,” type of speech. It merely brands you as the department’s top grumbler, grouch and complainer.
Others: If you work with a person who continually views the half-full glass as half-empty, you’ll need to assist them in moving their communications in a more positive direction.
6. Cyclops Syndrome – Diagnosing “Cyclops Syndrome” is easy. People who have it, have one big “eye”– that is focused solely on themselves. This self-centered behavior stems from egocentric mentality – “It’s all about me . . .enough about you . . .now let’s talk about me!” I also call this “one-upmanship” communication or “OOPS,” syndrome – or Our Own
Personal Story (OOPS) syndrome.
You: If you find yourself using “I”-focused dialogue, it’s time to reassess your focus on others. If you find you don’t congratulate others on their victories, but rather use them as (yet another) opportunity to build yourself up: “Oh, I already got a raise” rather than, “Congratulations on your raise!” – stop your egocentric speech patterns.
Others: People suffering from the “Cyclops Syndrome” don’t allow others a moment “in the spotlight.” Completely unaware of other’s needs, they always have a better story, a bigger win or a more impressive development than anyone else (or OOPS – Our Own Personal Story). Self-centered Cyclops-sighted folks will always shift and bring the focus back on themselves: “Oh, you think you’re having trouble on your ward, just wait until you hear mine,” and “If you think your child is doing well in school, mine is doing better…”
Quick 101 on Marketing
“The aim of marketing is to know and understand the customer so well the product or service fits him and sells itself.” ~ Peter F. Drucker
Marketing Your Services
Whether you market your business online, in person or through traditional advertising, communication is key to brand awareness. Here are two secrets to magnify the impact of your marketing across the board.
Be Responsive
A big part of marketing is being available to your target audience and following up when necessary. If you market your business through social media outlets—including Twitter, Facebook and blogging—watch for and respond to comments, questions and especially complaints. And when you are contacted as a result of offline marketing activities, respond quickly and professionally.
Plenty of recent examples on Twitter show how certain brands have been slow to respond to criticism, hoping it would die down, only to see it spin out of control. Also, when you do respond on social media websites, keep it professional, and avoid confrontation because that would only spread the fire.
Write Well
You can’t successfully promote your business if your marketing copy is not clear, concise and action-provoking. If writing is not your forte, consider hiring someone to help you craft copy that attracts potential clients, generates interest in your services and motivates potential clients to action.
To strengthen your writing skills, start a swipe file of marketing copy that you like and have found inspirational. Read through it and make notes of what you like in particular and what pulls you in. By making this a frequent exercise, you should be able to learn what makes good copy good and bad copy bad.
Networking – The Key to Business Success
The Richest people in the world look for and build networks, everyone else looks for work. – Robert Kiyosaky
Face-to-Face Networking
Networking events, conferences and other face-to-face opportunities can take your business to a new level. These tips focus on helping you get the most from in-person networking activities.
Communicate Confidently
Be confident and use body language to support that confidence. Shake hands firmly, smile and make eye contact while communicating at live networking events. Don’t forget to bring business cards to hand out to everyone you meet, and remember to relax and be yourself.
Before heading out to a networking event, practice introducing yourself to new people to gain confidence. Working on your introduction with someone you trust and asking for their feedback also helps.
Prepare an Elevator Speech
An elevator speech helps you make the most of a first impression, while making networking situations easier and more productive. Be prepared with your speech and ready to answer common questions about your business and what you do. Practice your elevator speech ahead of time so that you are relaxed and comfortable with introducing yourself.
Your elevator speech should last no longer than 30 seconds and should convey how your product or service solves a problem for your target audience.
Communication the Underpin in Customer Service
Well it has been a couple weeks since i was able to make any posts but. The holidays got in the way and with allot of activities, both re school and socially, over the Easter break blogging faded into the background for a while.
having had some time to collate my thoughts on the third piece in the series, I ask: what is the value of a business withought good customer service? if there are no repeat customers and the bad publicity is going out to the public’s who your business serves and your services are not regarded as essential but there are options in the market to have the same services, one should take note of the fact that the business will only be built and be successfully anchored on customer service. Customer satisfaction is worthless. Customer loyalty is priceless.
A customer is the most important visitor on our premises, he is not dependent on us. We are dependent on him. He is not an interruption in our work. He is the purpose of it. He is not an outsider in our business. He is part of it. We are not doing him a favor by serving him. He is doing us a favor by giving us an opportunity to do so. – Mahatma Gandhi
Customer Service
Your clients want to feel that they are your priority. You can make them feel so by providing exemplary customer service. Try these communication-focused actions to improve your customer service.
6. Ask for Feedback
One way to maintain long-term relationships with your clients is by keeping open lines of communication. This means asking them for their input on how things are going and how they feel about the service you’re providing. This can be accomplished by inquiring at the end of you providing your service, during day-to-day conversations or through formal surveys. The format matters less than the actual act of it, so work it into your business and fine tune as you go along.
When conducting surveys, use an online service that tracks responses for you. There are several online services that should give you enough functionality to conduct client surveys. Here are a few worth checking out:
7. Address Problems
If a client is unhappy, don’t ignore their complaints. Ask them why they are unhappy and what you can do to fix the situation. The longer you wait to bring it up, the worse it will get. Addressing the issue and being accountable when appropriate puts you on the path to resolution. And your willingness to face the problem head-on tells the client that you care about their satisfaction.
If a client complains about your turnaround time or responsiveness, you may need to create a more formal project plan to clarify expectations. A working document like this can also eliminate some of the uncertainty regarding responsibilities and keep everyone on track.
8. Try a New Format
If a problem with your client stems from miscommunication, try a different method of communication. If you have been handling everything via email, schedule a phone call to see if that clears things up. After the call, you can summarize the conversation in an email to the client, which will give you another opportunity to get both of you on the same page again.
Today, so much communication is done via email that the opportunity for major miscommunication is almost inevitable. A rule of thumb is to limit your email to one screen-full (i.e. above the fold); anything that requires more space than that should be handled by phone. This should help you avoid some of the pitfalls of relying on email alone.
Effective Business Communication Part 2
Entrepreneurship is living a few years of your life like most people won’t , so that you can spend the rest of your life like most people cant. – unknown
Below is the second in the series Effective Business Communication. It has become interesting allot of what I end up reading that informs these posts or even some of the stuff that inevitably get lifted in total for re-posting .. I am not sure I am doing justice to accrediting people for their work right now bit i will work at making sure I create a listing of contributors as I progress.
Client Meetings
Client meetings, even those that take place over the telephone, are an integral part of every successful business. Follow these tips to make your meetings as productive as possible.
3. Schedule and Prepare Thoroughly
We’re all busy these days, so scheduling your meetings in advance ensures that you and your clients have an adequate amount of uninterrupted time to speak. Once your meeting is scheduled, take time to prepare an agenda that outlines focus points and sets a structure. Sharing the agenda for the meeting gives both you and the client an opportunity to fully prepare.
Because you may not be using the same calendar or scheduling program as your client, confirming the date and time of your meetings in an email and sending a reminder and the agenda the day before is good practice. If you are unsure how to format an agenda, plenty of templates are available for free online.
4. Speak, Pause, Listen
When you have several topics to tackle, rushing through them to get all of your ideas out may be tempting. But this causes confusion and makes the client feel that their input is not important. Slow down, and remember that communication is a two-way street. Establish a give-and-take that allows both parties to have their say.
One way to become a better listener is to limit or eliminate distractions during your conversations. That may mean closing your email client, turning off the television and closing the door to your office. By doing these small things, you ensure that the client has your full attention, and they will sense that, too.
5. Follow Up in Writing
While you may be taking notes during phone or in-person meetings, the other party might not be, so follow up after the meeting with a written message, giving an overview of the discussion to make sure you are both on the same page. Summarize what was agreed, repeat questions that were raised and outline the next steps and responsibilities for both parties.
In addition to sending your notes, invite the other party to give their feedback on what you have sent. This way, it becomes a collaborative document and not just one person’s view.
Effective Business Communication Part 1
“ Success has a great tendency to conceal and throw a veil over the evil of men. ”
— Demosthenes
I was on Forbes Magazine website and that was there thought for the day and it made me think a little bit…
I was also reading some other stuff and I thought it would be a great idea to share some points that I too need to employ in making sure that the business is successful in all its endeavors. So here goes some what are defined as secrets of effective business communication that I think should not be so secret… *smile*
The ability to communicate, and communicate well, is one of the biggest factors in business success. You could be an excellent designer, but if you’re unable to promote your services and communicate effectively with clients and colleagues, your potential is limited. The principal areas where communication is essential include:
- Pitching potential clients,
- Client meetings,
- Customer service,
- Face-to-face networking,
- Marketing your business
and I guess I will use the days to come and develop my thoughts on each of the above in a more fulsome way before posting, but here goes the first;
Pitching Potential Clients
When you freelance or own a business, your livelihood depends on your ability to sell your services. You need to be able to convince prospects that you are the best person for the job. What you need to do to achieve this:
1. Ask the Right Questions
Part of selling your services is being able to understand the client’s unique needs. You can do this only by asking questions that get to the heart of the challenges they are facing. Once you have a clear understanding of the problem that the client needs to solve, you can pitch your services as the best possible option for the client, outlining how you will meet their needs.
For example, when I am contacted by a prospective client, I have them fill out a event and catering requirements document that poses various questions to help me better understand what they are looking for from their event. Some of the questions I ask are:
- What is the budget for your event.
- How many persons are you having at the evnt?
- What menu options do you have in mind ( what kind of service viz buffet etc.)
- Will alcoholic beverages be served?
- What is the timeline for the project?
2. Communicate Professionally
Your professionalism can win you contracts, and your communication skills add to the complete package. Take time to proofread all emails prior to sending; use a business email address with a proper signature; answer the phone professionally; and speak articulately and competently at all times.
While my email signature has evolved over time, below is the general format I follow, which has worked well for
Name
Company | Website
Email | Phone number
More anon
Random Entry
What can I say… I woke up this morning and felt good… Thanking God :-)…
While my thoughts linger and I ponder on my expressions yesterday, I have to talk about the new things I did this morning… I created a Facebook page for Cocopalm and added photos. This has been a while in the making and i finally got it done… I guess when we lack motivation we need to find that inner drive to get what needs to be done done. I think writing this blog is helping me get re-energized about at least the marketing aspect of the business . Motivation is elusive.
“Most people give up just when they’re about to achieve success. They quit on the one yard line. They give up at the last minute of the game, one foot away from a winning touchdown.” – Ross Perot
More anon.
Encouragement from a dear friend
I did not think id be back so soon… but I was just sharing with a friend that I started this blog and she gave me some encouraging thoughts on why she does what she does and that is being an entrepreneur… “sounds awesome….it needs serious exploration especially now…entrepreneurs take huge risk I can say that much but Rory, I love doing what I love and that’s really the thing that makes it worth it and why I continue” thanks Michelle…
Insight
I have only now got the time to start this blog due to other demands on my time. i trust that i will make it as interesting as possible so that someone out there may associate with it in some way and be inspired to share and comment on my post too.
When your from a family that operates a very successful business it puts so much pressure on you growing up to in this environment to aim to surpass what it is that your parents have created and have done well at. It is almost like they too have a expectation that one day their children will become the seasoned business people and take over the reigns of the successful business and take it to new heights. Sometimes this is expressed overtly and in some cases its not even said but its allure is so potent that they might as well communicate it.
hmmmmmm… my thoughts linger as this is the first time I am about to express myself in this way about many of the feelings I have had regarding families expectations of me to be the ultimate businessman and the obvious and deliberate path I may have taken away from that expectation to chart my own path.
“Do not go where the path may lead but go instead where there is no path and leave a trail” Ralph Waldo Emerson
That quote comes to mind at this juncture because its something that I have always used to guide me at every point in my life that I have felt overwhelmed by these unsaid or even sometimes subtly or overtly communicated expectations as to what I should do with my life viz become a businessman or not have the respect of family because I choose a different path that they may see as being less successful.
Communicating this is often times not easy because you fear the overwhelming negative response and often times you have to internalize what you would want to communicate and just decide what your plan will be and strategically work towards that goal without having to expressly state your intentions.I have used my educational advancement to further my goal in wanting to chart a path for myself and by doing that i have been able to strike a balance at communicating the direction in which I am going without upsetting the status quo too much. This, not withstanding the fact that my areas of concentration at the university level having done one degree and now completing another are not necessarily in line with core business.
I am giving you all this background because its sets the stage for I guess what I have tried to capture in the blog page name.
Without telling this story in one go I will reserve some for another time… but on a lighter note UWI sports day is today and i hope REX WINS… 800 strong cant be wrong!!!!
Communicating Between Egos as an Entrepreneur 